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A Petrifying Shimmer - Sprite TFTG by Nero-The-Lime A Petrifying Shimmer - Sprite TFTG :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 14 3 MSF High - Fractaltied Minecraft Skins (Set 1) by Nero-The-Lime MSF High - Fractaltied Minecraft Skins (Set 1) :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 6 3
Sela Flower Haven [REDUX]
Today, I decided to visit the Farmer's Market. It's not exactly a hobby of mine, and I don't do it too often, but it's an annual thing, and there are quite a few interesting souvenirs besides the fresh greens. The novelty was tempting, and I felt it was worth a look. There were various stalls and tents scattered about the area. Some of them selling their homemade snacks or drinks, and a few of them seemed to be advertising for a larger company boasting organic goods. There were two of these stalls that caught my eye. One of them sold some tasty sauce, so I bought a bottle of that. The other... it was a black tent, with a purple, cursive logo reading "Sela Flower Haven". Running the stall was a... gorgeous woman. Her blonde, wavy hair looked so voluminous, and in it, she wore a crisp, fresh rose. The stall had a few things there; Some drinks, a few greens, and several bouquets of various flowers.
"Hello!" She called out, seeming to notice my attention.
"Ah!" I jumped a bit. "I'm sorry.
:iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 4 3
Totally Legit MSF High Secrets!
The other day I had a talk with :iconMSFHWraith: and we came to a bit of an agreement. Over 12 years, many fans are still in the dark about the secrets and deep lore of MSF High, and by extension, Mahou Galaxy. You've waited long enough! He's finally given me permission to dicuss with you all the secrets of the setting! You've been warned, if you're not interested in these totally real spoilers, please turn back now! Let's start with the most common question you might have.
What happened to Wraith?
Wraith's disappearance is one of the biggest questions of the setting. However, you might be alarmed to hear that he never went anywhere! He's still right at the school! Many fans will remember that Wraith has been changed into all known races in the setting. However, he's grown bored since, looking for new things to be. Every week, he tries out a new role. When Donovan arrived, for example, he took the shape of a salt shaker in a nondescripit restaurant in Mahou City. You probably wo
:iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 2 10
Wraith and Aakashi Neko Sprites by Nero-The-Lime Wraith and Aakashi Neko Sprites :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 8 4 Crypt of the Necrodancer - MSF High Field Trip by Nero-The-Lime Crypt of the Necrodancer - MSF High Field Trip :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 11 2 MSFH Spellbook Sprites by Nero-The-Lime MSFH Spellbook Sprites :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 8 8 Allergic Reaction TFTG Sprites by Nero-The-Lime Allergic Reaction TFTG Sprites :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 8 3 Aakashi to Azura TF Sprites by Nero-The-Lime Aakashi to Azura TF Sprites :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 12 4 Wraith to Althea TFTG Sprites by Nero-The-Lime Wraith to Althea TFTG Sprites :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 11 6 Legion Simulator: Victory by Nero-The-Lime Legion Simulator: Victory :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 5 12 Sonia ID (Drawn by AkuOreo) by Nero-The-Lime Sonia ID (Drawn by AkuOreo) :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 7 1 Legion Neko Aakashi + Queen Wraith Sprites by Nero-The-Lime Legion Neko Aakashi + Queen Wraith Sprites :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 8 4 Legion Minecraft Skins (Collection 3) by Nero-The-Lime Legion Minecraft Skins (Collection 3) :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 9 8
The Rapture Fleet of the Angelic Protectorate
"General Lenora?" A stoic angel warrior kneeled at the pilot's seat of the Holy Flame, one of thousands of the ships sent by the Angelic Protectorate to fight the rising Legion menace. The silver-haired, crestfallen Seraph sitting in the chair in front of her pulled her face out of her hands, greeting her with her eyes, and finally speaking.
"Yes, Zelda?" She said.
"Lenora, I..." Zelda looked to her side, distraught. "We took only a few of them out, but had to make a retreat. Their forces were too many, and over half of ours had fallen..." She closed her eyes, rethinking her choice of words, then opened them as she spoke again. "...No, not fallen. Worse than that. Those monsters, they... took them. Changed them into one of their own. We had to cut down some of our own people to avoid falling ourself."
"I... see." Lenora closed her eyes, thinking on it a moment. "...I understand. There was nothing you could do. A retreat was the best course of action... as much as I hate to admit that."
:iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 3 18
Sonia + Sasha Sprites by Nero-The-Lime Sonia + Sasha Sprites :iconnero-the-lime:Nero-The-Lime 7 3


Ruby Sprite by AkuOreo Ruby Sprite :iconakuoreo:AkuOreo 29 0 CM Torige by FenRox CM Torige :iconfenrox:FenRox 72 12 Resurrection by Jacky-Bunny Resurrection :iconjacky-bunny:Jacky-Bunny 43 20 Team of five by Ryuki-kiba Team of five :iconryuki-kiba:Ryuki-kiba 23 7 Collab Canon-Thought: Huang Yinxiu by AkuOreo Collab Canon-Thought: Huang Yinxiu :iconakuoreo:AkuOreo 60 2 Big Buttons by Sanone Big Buttons :iconsanone:Sanone 203 14 Going for a Light Stroll by Loner2000
Mature content
Going for a Light Stroll :iconloner2000:Loner2000 180 17
Innapropriate Touching by Escafa Innapropriate Touching :iconescafa:Escafa 112 9 Pit Tg art trade with Yunipur by undeadpenguin37 Pit Tg art trade with Yunipur :iconundeadpenguin37:undeadpenguin37 99 12 Azura's Latest Project by TheGuyNoOneRemembers Azura's Latest Project :icontheguynooneremembers:TheGuyNoOneRemembers 24 12 Sudden Furrification by Escafa Sudden Furrification :iconescafa:Escafa 135 13 Cute Couple (Gift) by EpicEndurianArt Cute Couple (Gift) :iconepicendurianart:EpicEndurianArt 12 4 Sedire by Escafa Sedire :iconescafa:Escafa 69 8 Com SnakeQueen by freelancemanga Com SnakeQueen :iconfreelancemanga:freelancemanga 166 12 062017 a by PaulGQ 062017 a :iconpaulgq:PaulGQ 208 12 Wraith TG by AkuOreo Wraith TG :iconakuoreo:AkuOreo 225 15


:icontwinkieman93: :icondrvonschmeltwick: :iconcutesasha: :iconmetalspiral: :icondarkslayer-0: :iconminosreturned: :iconlucariolover1324: :iconswade9wade: :iconxiaoxiaoman92: :iconmajorkerina: :iconlordthawkeye: :iconmsfhwraith: :iconakuoreo:




United States
Hey there! I don't really do much but I do love writing TF/TG stories and making minecraft skins! I'm apparently really good at both of those things, as well as some random others, so keep an eye out!
Avatar drawn by :iconakuoreo:

Read highlights for my tabletop games!
MSF High (Fractaltied):…
Mamano Pathfinder:…
MSF High: (Sedra's Casual): Coming soon!



March 16th

Sedra: "Kana is awesome now. Imagine how lonely Garen must be."
Hawkeye: "Who?"
Sedra: "Hhhaahahahahaa!"

Sedra: "On that topic, I might have enough for that Avenger now. How much is that for Kana?"
Miles: "17,481 GP."
Sedra: "...Hahahahaha!"
*Lyanna gets the Holy Avenger at level 10!*

Sedra: "I still have like 7000 gold. I should get some wondrous items."
Hawkeye: "Yeah, Lyanna, what slots do you wanna fill?"
Sedra: "...We need to fill Lyanna's chest. Hehehe."

*Ioth'ir is visited by the God of Retribution, and told to inspect a name. It's revealed he was a dwarven monk out on pilgrimage to find the eternal ice and forge it into a weapon.*

*Lyanna is moping*
Sukudo: "Something wrong?"
Lyanna: "Do you-... Do you think I'm really cut out for this?"
Sukudo: "Of course. If it wasn't for you, we'd have failed in plenty of our battles, and if you hadn't pierced Sharrak's defenses, we'd never have been able to drive him away."
Sylmera: "You're a valuable ally, Lyanna. You can tell us if something is wrong."
Lyanna: "...I miss my mother. I thought I was done coping with all this, but then I took out all my pent-up rage on Sharrak. It's not me... I don't feel right about fighting."
Sukudo: "I lost my parents too, before I even got to know them."
Lyanna: "I don't know if I should call you lucky or not... I-... I still have nightmares of it all, you know."
*Sylmera and Sukudo hug*
Lyanna: "I'm sorry... I guess deep down I'm just a scared little girl..."
Durdona: "It's good that you recognize this. The devils would see it as a weakness and attempt to exploit it before you came to terms with it."
Lyanna: "...Yeah... you're right..."

Lyanna: "Hey, Folkor? That vision you had, what did I do in it?"
Folkor: "You and the others drove back the darkness in the empire, but the vision ended before the victor was determined."

Lokar: "I'll accompany you, but I must remain anonymous. You mustn't refer to me by name."
Lyanna: "We could give you a nickname."
Annos: "How about 'The Artist Previously Known as Prince'?"

March 23rd

Hawkeye: "Anything you want to discuss before you head to the chilly mountains?"
Sedra: "Wait, Lyanna in the cold... you know what that means."
Hawkeye: "I KNEW that would come up..."

*Ioth'ir casts a spell at one of them. It now thinks it's a squirrel.*
*Several turns later, the huge troll scurries away on all fours looking for nuts.*

Nameless: "So getting up from prone takes a full move action? What if I go invisible?"
Hawkeye: "It'd still take your whole turn. You couldn't go anywhere."
Sedra: "Wait, Hawkeye, we're in the snow, right?"
Hawkeye: "Yeaaaah?"
Sedra: "Shouldn't Sukudo's invisibilty be totally worthless?"
Hawkeye: "........No..."
Annos: "Not like they're smart enough to look for footprints anyway."

Hawkeye: "Let's see, he can't hit anyone... but Durdona is prone!"
John: "It's not gonna make me any easier to hit."
Hawkeye: "Yes it will, -4 AC pen-"
John: "Nope! Belt of the Weasel. No AC penalty and I can still move!"
*The giant hits anyway, Durdona gets sent flying*
Sedra: "Ooo, the troll just squished the little spider!"
Hawkeye: "Actually she was still prone so he really just bat you away like a golf ball."
Sedra: "KSSSSHHH-"
Anthony: "FOOORE!"

Sedra: "I'm sorry if my laughs cause you any physical discomfort."
John: "That is a VERY weird thing to say."

Hawkeye: "Lyanna, your turn."
Sedra: "Lyanna flies over to Durdona and SMUCHes her."
Hawkeye: "What?"
Lyanna: "You doing okay, dear?"
*Lyanna kisses her*
Durdona: "Wh-what-"
*Durdona is healed*

*Sedra is talking about something:* "...Health cat-"
Hawkeye: "What?"
Sedra: "Oh my god I can't believe I just said that here."
Hawkeye: "What did you just say?"
Sedra: "Health-cat. It's a freudian slip I made while playing TF2 with Aleanne... Well, now I have to make a Neko healer character."

*Everyone enters a tomb, and has to solve a logic puzzle, five dragons are missing their eyes and give hints as to which gem it should be*
Lower-right dragon head: "Ruby and Sapphire reside higher than Emerald."
Sedra: "Iunno, Emerald had all three legendaries. It was a much better game."

*Everyone is attacked by a giant worm*
Sedra: "Is it evil?"
Hawkeye: "No, it's attacking you because it's hungry."
Sedra: "Quick! Throw the rest of Lyanna's botched cooking at it!"
Hawkeye: "That'd just make it angrier."

*33 damage*
Hawkeye: "Did you just deal more lethal than nonlethal?"
Everyone: "..."

Lyanna: "Hey Ioth'ir?"
Ioth'ir: "Hmm?"
Lyanna: *Smooch*
Ioth'ir: "Erk-"

Mar 30th

Hawkeye: "Ioth'ir and Lyanna both suffer a night terror. They sit over the rest of the camp, everyone's blood at their hands. They're about to feast on their flesh but wake up before they do it."
Sedra: "I thought you said you weren't gonna get adult with this..."
Hawkeye: "What."
Sedra: "We're eating them. That's kinky."

Hawkeye: "Jathal, this sounds like it was caused by a Wendigo, a nature spirit that haunts travelers' dreams, causing them to turn to cannibalism and become Wendigos themselves."
Sedra: "A Wendigo is also an enemy in FF8 that turns you into a basketball. I can't take them seriously."

*Lyanna flies up into a tree and reads a note.*
Note: "If you're reading this, I'm afraid the nightmares have gotten worse. My name is Geros, and I've done unholy things to those who were once my friends. When you get this message, kill me."

Jathal: "I can make Lyanna HUGE-SIZED?"
Sedra: "Minos would be proud."

Hawkeye: "Geros snarls at Lyanna, charging over to her."
John: "Haha! Attack of opportunity from Durdona!"
*Geros rolls a 36 on acrobatics.*
John: "Still not enough! My CMD is 40!"
*Durdona rolls a nat 20!*
*Durdona rolls a 4 to confirm and doesn't.*
John: "..."

Hawkeye: "The wendigo falls to the ground and the spirit leaves its body. You should probably lay him to rest."
*Everyone walks into a cave carrying its body. There's a big massacre of dead bodies and an overturned carriage*
Everyone: "Oh."

Hawkeye: "The wagon's payload is left untouched. There's a chest there! You find winged boots!"
John: "Durdona can't fly."
Nameless: "But you're a spider!"
Hawkeye: "It's magic. But you're NOT wearing eight boots."

Hawkeye: "Next item! Headband of Ki Focus!"

Hawkeye: "Next item, Stormlure! This lets you surround yourself by crackling winds at will!"
Sedra: "DIBS."

Sedra: "Hey Hawkeye? Should Lyanna learn infernal just so she can tell the devils to fuck off?"
Hawkeye: "Heh, naaah. They get the picture."

April 6th

Benny: "Okay, gonna make Lyra large."
Sedra: "Yes, her name is Lyra now."
Benny: "Eh, our Valkyrie. I keep forgetting her name."
Sedra: "Right, so Lucretia is going to be large."

Benny: "The dragon doesn't know we're coming, right?"
Hawkeye: "You're not exactly being subtle. You have a 20 foot tall spider girl with you."

John: "Whyyyy does he have an aura around him?"
Hawkeye: "He's a Blackguard."
John: "MOTHERFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffff-Let's do this."

Falkild: "You DARE to strike a Jarl?"
*The Jarl smites good on Durdona*

Anthony: "Gonna cast Scorching ray on the dragon."
Hawkeye: "Three touch attacks. You'd have to botch that for it to fail."
*Sylmera rolls a 14, 17, and a 1.*
Anthony: "You just HAD to say it."

*Lyanna gives Smite evil to everyone and everyone deals like 100 damage each, meanwhile Lyanna's only attack grazes him*

Hawkeye: "You send a fire beam right through the white dragon. It pierces right through it and it falls into the chasm, taking the Jarl with it."
John: "I'm still grappling him."
Hawkeye: "Are you going to save him or something?"
Sedra: "'t'would be the honorable thing to do."
Hawkeye: "He's a blackguard. He has no honor."

April 13th

Anthony: "Hawkeye, there's a problem. I can't see Sylmera's token."
Hawkeye: "That's because Shimmer is on top of her."
Sedra: "Kinky."

Hawkeye: "After beating the Jarl, you all take a rest before looking for the Eternal Ice."
Jathal: "So, what are we looking for?"
Lilac: "Well... Judging by the name... it probably looks like ice..."

*Lyanna rolls a 2 to cook*
Sedra: "HP/MP Restored! ...But you're still hungry..."

Image of Tur'xik: "You've proven yourself quite a hinderance, and quite formidable, so I extend this offer to you-"
Lyanna: "No."
Sukudo: "It's kind of hard for you to be intimidating when you have loyalty issues with your own minions." *Smirk*
Image of Tur'xik: "...Well played..."

*Everyone gets ambushed by a mantid arcanist, Lyanna charges him and does almost 60 damage while shrugging off attacks*
Arcanist: "The general was right... you are dangerous..."
Hawkeye: "Aaand he poofs away."

Nameless: "Sneaky sneakyyyyy."
*Sukudo rolls a 1*
Nameless: "AW FUCK."
*Sukudo falls through the door and bursts it open*

Hawkeye: "That's a good asshole GM move. 'I open the chest!' 'How?' It gets them every time."
Sedra: "Take off your pants and get it from behind."

*Everyone meets the executioner again, he sends a bunch of controlling swarms of bugs at the party, they latch onto Sukudo*
Hawkeye: "Lyanna, your turn. Got anything that can harm evil but not Sukudo?"
Sedra: "Oh, Holy Whisper! 30 foot cone, so this is an AoE and they get a penalty to thi-"
Hawkeye: "They made the save."
Sedra: "..."

John: "I don't know what to do here... I could shoot my web at the Legion Devils, but Lyanna is in the way..."
Sedra: "How do I shot web?"

Hawkeye: "Lyanna, you might wanna lay on hands yourself."
Anthony: "Grab your boobs."

Sedra: "I calculated Lyanna's maximum damage roll as of right now. 1d12+11[Charge+Large]+2d6[Holy]+32[Smite]+1d6+6[Radiant Charge]+1d6[Flaming Burst]."
*Lyanna does that against the executioner*

Next: Coming Soon!

February 23rd

Sedra: "Hawkeye, there's a very important question that needs answering."
Hawkeye: "Ah, yes. Why hasn't Sylmera tried to grope Lyanna yet?"
John: "Hehehehe..."
Anthony: "I... don't know. I'll have to fix that sometime."
Sedra: "Protip, Lyanna takes off her armor plating when she sleeps."

*Lyanna rolls to cook. nat 20!*
Sedra: "Oh! Lyanna makes the BEST char-broiled sausage above the lava forge."
John: "Not really designed to be used for cooking, but I can't deny the results."

*Ioth'ir stays behind*
Artil: "Don't worry, I'll keep him company."
Sylmera: "Good, he tends to ignore it whenever we give it to him."

Annos: "Do they have a well around here?"
Hawkeye: "It's a dwarven city. If they have a well it's probably filled with booze."
Sedra: "Lilac, please don't kill yourself."
Anthony: "Ice mamano and lava forges mix well, apparently."

Sedra: "We wanna make you hotter!"
Hawkeye: "Hah-hah."
Nameless: "Booooo."

Hawkeye: "You have to do a fly check equal to your damage taken to stay in the air. It should be fine. Just don't roll a 1."
*Jathal rolls a 20*
Hawkeye: "Oh."
Benny: "I did it with STYLE."

Sedra: "Are we ALL backup healers?"
John: "Nah, Durdona doesn't have any healing. She has the heal skill..."
Anthony: "I can make you feel good, but that's not exactly healing..."
Sedra: "Ohhhhh my..."

Sedra: "Can we all agree that Brilliant Moon Strike is the cheesiest name for an ability ever?"
Hawkeye: "I've seen worse."
Benny: "It's like something out of a cheesy anime."
Sedra: "All in favor of giving Solice a magical girl outfit, say Aye."
Benny: "Aye!"
John: "Aye!"
Sedra: "Aye!"

Hawkeye: "Ifrit gets into position and sends a fire snake right through Durdona and Lyanna."
*Durdona rolls a 19, Lyanna rolls a 20*
Hawkeye: "Oh, come on! Why does the Paladin get all the reflex saves but you don't?"
Sedra: "You can't make Lyanna hotter. Can't be done.... or can it?"

John: "Durdona is ANGRY."
Sedra: "It brings back memories of when she was a little girl and would always burn ants with a magnifying glass. Now she knows how it feels."

John: "Durdona lets out a flurry of trikes at the fire elemental."

*Durdona rolls an 89 on damage against Ifrit*
Ifrit: "Stop! Stop, I yield. It's been a long time since I fought such a battle... What do you request of me?"
Sedra: "We wanna make you sexy."
Nameless: "Oh my god, please tell me you say that in-character."
Hawkeye: "You don't speak Ignis, he wouldn't understand."
Sylmera: "Oh, how I WISH I could speak Ignis right now..."

Hawkeye: "He accepts the guardian pact and joins Maou, and before your eyes changes into a dark red-skinned girl with burning hair."
Ifrit: "YES! Such heat! I've never felt such a fire in my entire existence!"
Lyanna: "You got to be hotter after all this. Win-win, right?"

March 2nd

Hawkeye: "Everyone's back at the caslte now, so you can talk and have some fun!"
Sedra: "Lyanna litters the table with a buffet to prevent *that* kind of fun..."

*Durdona is moping*
Sylmera: "Something wrong, sweetie?"
Durdona: "Just... I kinda feel wrong. I'm hideous. I'm a freak."
Sylmera: "I think you look quite stunning."
Durdona: "Hah, like my stunning fists? Haha..."
Sylmera: "Don't change the subject."

Jathal: "You... keep mentioning parents. What are those?"
Lyanna: "The people who created you? Cared for you as you grew?"
Jathal: "My people grow themselves. In a very secluded part of the world."
Lyanna: "...You have a mother nature, right?"
Jathal: "Yes! Everything is mother nature!"
Lyanna: "Think of that as your parent, then."
Jathal: "Okay! ...I still don't get it."

Everyone: "Yes, Devils are the enemy. They can't be reasoned with. The only way is to purge them all."
Lyanna: "I don't believe it. Nobody is beyond redemption. Why are you so adamant about this?"
Nerril: "L-Lyanna, do you KNOW what a devil is?"

*While sulking in the corner, Lyanna brings Durdona some food*
Lyanna: "You feeling alright?"
Durdona: "I think so... I just... I have some strange thoughts in my meditation. I was scared and tried to supress them at first, but they've been leaking through anyway..."
Lyanna: "Bad thoughts?"
Durdona: "..."
Lyanna: "Okay... why don't you try focusing on us?"
Durdona: "Focus on..."
Lyanna : "You enjoy my company, don't you?"
Durdona: "Yes, you're very pleasant."
*Lyanna gives a warm smile*
Lyanna: "If you be a bit more sociable, it'll take your mind off your thoughts while you learn to adjust."
Durdona: "I-I... alright."

Durdona: "I can't get over how ugly I am in the mirror..."
Lyanna: "You could try makeup."
Durdona: "Excuse me?"
Sedra: "Do cosmetics exist in this universe?"
Hawkeye: "Cosmetics have been around since EGYPTIAN TIMES."

Sukudo: "To tell the truth, I can't really see any of you."
Lyanna: "What?"
Sukudo: "My eyes, they're... not really eyes. I can only see through sound."
Lyanna: "...Am I a bunch of boings and clanks to you?"
Nameless: "You just HAD to go there."

*Sukudo's mirror hums to life,  the masked man from before talks through it*
???: "I need your help again. Bishop Folkor. He's alive. And he's in the Cold Iron Prison. He's to be executed by fire unless you can do something."
Hawkeye: "Alright, now it's your turn. Like before, you get to plan and strategize this breakout yourself. No help from me."
Lyanna: "Durdona, I know you weren't with us before, I'll give you a description of the prison."
*Lyanna describes the place to Durdona*

Nerril: "Ooohh, Folkor is to be executed? Now I know something is up. Let me tell you something. I've been to the prison several times. After you escaped, they've stepped up security. As a traitor, Folkor will probably be held in the lower floors."
Lyanna: "I don't remember a staircase..."
Nerril: "You were in a side building. This thing will be even more fortified and extremely hidden. I hope you know what you're doing."

*Sylmera makes a Familiar!*
Durdona: "Did... you create her?"
Shimmer: "Nah, she just summoned me here and now we're best friends! We'll make the baddies cry!"
Durdona: "You sure? You don't look like you can take much of a hit..."
Shimmer: "I'll be fine!"
*Shimmer kisses Durdona, Sylmera giggles at Durdona's red face (And also kisses her)*

Anthony: "Yes, I have Charm Monster now!"
Sedra: "What happens if you charm a Mind Flayer? Japan?"
Everyone: *snrk*

March 9th

Hawkeye: "While walking through the sewers, the trash starts to stir, forming into a human shape. Several, in fact!"
Sedra: "I'm the TRASHMAN. I get out, I go in the ring, and I start throwin' garbage everywhere! I AM GARBAGE!"

John: "What do grease spells do?"
Hawkeye: "If it's cast on the ground, you need to make a check every round to stay standing."
John: "So it's great for rogues..."
Hawkeye: "And if you cast it on yourself, you get a huge bonus to escape artist checks!"
Sedra: "If you cast it on your husband, you get a huge bonus to your chances of appearing in an MGE story."

Hawkeye: "Autohypnosis can explain away EVERYTHING. 'You're dead.' 'No I'm not!' 'How?' 'AUTOHYPNOSIS!' '...Fine.'"

John: "Cats, please. You're begging for food but your dishes are full..."
Sedra: "How do you know they want food?"
John: "They're tapping at their food dish."
Sedra: "Are you sure it's not your duchess powers? We all know you're consort-disguised, SIMONE."
Simone: "..."
Hawkeye: "I'm ba- hoooow did the conversation get to this point?"

Nameless: "I hope these slimes don't assimilate me."
Hawkeye: "You don't wanna be assimilated by THESE slimes. They're all oiley and dirty."
Miles: "To be fair, Mamano Slimes are already dirty enough."

Anthony: "Actually, Oil can't be frozen. Getting cold just thickens it."
Sedra: "How can you make it thicc if it isn't humanoid?"
*Everyone sighs*
Hawkeye: "Fail. Lyanna is nauseated and can't act next round. You're covered in a HORRIBLY BAD-smelling film."
Sedra: "Oh no, Lyanna has a bunch of porno movies on her."

Hawkeye: "This is the place. On the other end of the room is the runed wall."
Anthony: "That pile of junk has a health bar."
Hawkeye: "Er-"
Nameless: "It's gonna come alive, isn't it?"
Sedra: "No metagaming, guys!"

*A mimic appears! Sukudo deals 75 damage in two rounds*
Mimic: "AHH! Fine! Take the treasure, this isn't worth it!"
Hawkeye: "It drops a ring, a rod, and 2000 gold. The rod adds the lightning element to any AoE attacks."
Sedra: "I wouldn't object to Lyanna getting it."
Hawkeye: "Nah, you can't use it. You don't have any nukes."
Sedra: "Hi CIA. Sorry Hawkeye said the N-word. We're just playing D&D."
Hawkeye: "Excuse me?"
Sedra: "The N-word."
Annos: "Nukes. We're SECRETLY PLANNING to play D&D."

Hawkeye: "You break down the wall and end up in a prison block. There's a note on one of the doors. The prisoner is being executed for heresy. They've already taken him. You hear noises coming from the other room. Like a preist reading someone their last rites."

Annos: "How much AC do we get from barkskin? Two or tree?"
Sedra: "...Annos, I hate you."

*Everyone bursts through the door*
Lyanna: "Stop this madness!"
High Priest: "Ahh... You may have saved me the trouble of tracking you down."
*The priest shifts into Sharrak*
Sharrak: "We don't need this old man. These fools will serve as a much better sacrifice."

*Durdona grapples with the executioner*
Hawkeye: "That wouldn't help. They're all immune to fire."

Hawkeye: "Lyanna, your turn."
Sedra: "HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, to attack Sharrak, do I make my will save now or later?"
Hawkeye: "Before attacking, yes."
*Lyanna rolls a 25*
Hawkeye: "Success. You broke his sanctuary."
Sedra: "Hahahaha! Okay, first thing I'm gonna do is SMITE FUCKIN' EVIL. Aaaand flyby attack. Let's calculate my hit roll! Normally it's 1d20+12. Plus 1 from blessed cooking, 1 from Divine favor, 5 from Smite Evil, 2 from charging, 2 from being large... 1d20+23."
Nameless: "Oh god please don't roll a 1."
*Lyanna rolls a 32*
Sedra: "HAHAHAHA! Okay, damage! 1d12+4 standard, plus 14 from smite evil, 2 from weapon of awe, and some other stuff. Oh, and my sword is holy right now. 1d20+24+2d6."
Hawkeye: "JESUS! People say Paladins are boring but when you put them up against undead or devils and look at what they do!"

*Lyanna rolls a 35 and takes out half of Sharrak's health*
Lyanna: "THAT was for CLARA!"
Sharrak: "Nnnghh... Bow to me, Mortal!"
*Sharrak tries to dominate Lyanna, she rolls a 29 will save*
Lyanna: "NEVER after everything you've done!"

*Sylmera paralyzes Sharrak*
Sylmera: "You. Aren't. Going. ANYWHERE."
Nameless: "Don't you DARE kill him before me."

*Lyanna smites again*
Lyanna: "SHAAAARRAAAAAK! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'll strike you down with the fury of all those you've slain!"
*Lyanna deals 25 damage*
Lyanna: "THAT was for PATRICIA!"

Nameless: "I'm gonna climb up there and coup de gras him."
Hawkeye: "He's standing atop a 30 foot tall forge and a coup is a full round action."

Lyanna: "Sukudo, just trust me! I'll take care of him!"
Sukudo: "...This is for CLARA, you foul HELLSPAWN!"
*Sukudo fires her gun. Nat 20.*

*Lyanna charges oncemore*
Lyanna: "THAT was for FREDRICK!"
*Everyone laughs*
Benny: "Haha, Fredrick? Are you just naming random people hoping he killed them?"
Sedra: "I hope you guys are happy. You just laughed at Lyanna's dead father."
Everyone: "...oh..."

Legion devil: "Master!"
Hawkeye: "It teleports to him and they both blink out of there."
Nameless: "I hate you."

*An image of him reappears*
Sharrak: "H-hahh... Hahaha! F-foolish mortals, you don't know the true purpose of the sacrifice!"
*The furnace rumbles as a giant machine steps out*
Sharrak: "THIS is the Hellfire engine! The same one of legend! The same one that burned that dwarven city so long ago!"

*Suddenly the masked man blows a hole in the wall*
???: "Come with me, quickly!"
*Everyone escapes to the sewers, the masked man reveals himself*
Henrin: "I am the prince of the empire, Henrin Lokar. I heard all about your journeys. How you've refused to kill even a single soldier despite everything! I know of the corruption in the empire, and I want to help you root it out. Take me with you. I can help you in any way you need. Even if that means taking me hostage."
Lyanna: "That's not necessary."

Henrin: "Sukudo, your battle with him seems personal. I might be able to help..."
*Sukudo sneaks into Sharrak's personal quarters, where he's writing a note*
Legion Devil: "Master, General Tur'xik is here to see you."
*He slides the note into a desk drawer and locks it immediately*
Sharrak: "Ah, yes! Tell him I'll be right down. I have my report ready."
*Sharrak leaves the room. Sukudo unlocks the desk.*
Note: "I am pleased to announce my defection to you, lord Akinur! The Hellfire Machine is now under my control. I would have it for you sooner, but a certain problem arose again. We can deal with them later, but for now I have only this good report to give."
*Sukudo slides it into her pocket and heads downstairs. There's a huge foyer with a table in the center. On it is a set of wine glasses and another rolled up paper. Sharrak's report to Tur'xik.*
Sedra: "Hehe... Hahahahah..."
*Sukudo swaps the notes*

Sharrak: "Yes, Tur'xik. I've gotten the machine under my control. It'll be ready to present to Kulzu as soon as possible."
*Tur'xik picks up the note, hesitating while reading it.*
Sharrak: "What's wrong, my lord? ...Wait."
*Sukudo accidentally kicks up some dust while invisible.*
Tur'xik: "Is this some kind of joke? A defection?"
Sharrak: "W-wait, no, she- it was he-"
*Tur'xik grbas him by the neck*

(Sadly, the day of posting marks the last session of the game! I'll try to keep highlights coming in so people can catch up. We're already more than halfway through.)

February 2nd

Nerril: "Lyanna, I need to ask you a favor."
Lyanna: "What do you need?"
Nerril: "Can you come with me back to the city? I need to make a report so they won't come looking for me. I'll just tell them that we've taken care of the wizards and I'm under deep cover. And I might need your help convincing Malkoran's wife to help."
Lyanna: "Okay everyone. I know what I said about splitting up, but this is too dangerous for you all to come. I think I have to go this alone. It's fine, I can handle myself."

Nerril: "Wait here. I need to go make my report.
Nerumi: "Teehee, he's in love."
Lyanna: "Wha-?"
Nerumi: "Haven't you seen the way he looks at you when your back is turned? I think he has a crush on you."
Lyanna: "I think you should reconsider your wording."
Nerumi: "I never consider anything~"

*Nerril goes to convince Malkoran's wife to help*
Lenora: "What is she doing here? Isn't she one of them?"
Nerril: "She has a gift I'd like you to see. Lyanna?"
*Lyanna uses Lay on hands!*
Lenora: "That's the holy light! But... Aren't you a demon?"
Nerril: "I thought so too. But It's unmistakable. She's surely a paladin."
Lenora: "Malkoran will never listen to me. I've tried to sway him off this pointless crusade before. It's no use..."
Nerumi: "Aaaactually, I have a bit of an idea. Wouldn't it be so much easier to just separate him from the order forever? I can sense you want children. Wouldn't being married to a Mamano be a serious crime?"
Everyone OOC: "What? Noooo. No way. Is she crazy?"
Nerumi: "You're reaching the age of infertility anyway. But it is your choice."
Lenora: "I'll do it."
Nerumi: "Hehe... Lyanna, you should head back to the castle. I'll be done with her soon enough."

*The group heads to Lyanna's old town*
Jathal: "This place looks nice. If we could restore it it'd look better than ever!"
Lyanna: "This was my old house..."
Sukudo: "What happened here?"
Lyanna: "The order happened."
Durdona: "Why have I never heard about this?"
Lyanna: "They covered it up, from what I heard. Treated it like it was nothing."
Durdona: "I-I'm so sorry..."

*Durdona drinks an enlargement potion in an enclosed area*
John: "Am I stuck now?"

Hawkeye: "I'm very good at tounge twisters. The Little Lemmings Lelbmelemabl..."
Sedra: "Really making a good case for yourself there."

*Lilac uses the elemental summon crystal!*
Sylph: "Who dares to summon Sylph - Guardian of the Skies?"
Sedra: "Can't wait to see them cloudboobs! Wooo!"

Sylph: "ENGARDE!"
*Sylph flies over and instacrits Lyanna taking out half her HP*
Hawkeye: "That deals bonus sonic damage. A thunderous sound rattles Lyanna."
Sedra: "Hey, did you know that sound waves something something resonance something I'm trying to make a boob jiggle joke."

Sedra: "Hey, do you guys ever consider that Lyanna is a busty Paladin?"
Nameless: "Yeah?"
Sedra: "I guess that makes her the Holy Booble."
Nameless: "..." *Sigh*

Hawkeye: "If Sukudo misses with her gun, does that count as shooting the breeze?"
Nameless: "...HhhhhUUUUUGGGGHHHHH."

*In a single round, everyone does 91 damage. Overall Sylph is killed in about 3 rounds.*
Sylph: "I... receed."

Sylph: "Perhaps serving this deity isn't so bad after all. what are the terms?"
Sedra: "Lightning boobs! Lightning boobs! Lightning boobs!"
Hawkeye: "That's a side effect, not the terms..."

Sylph: "I accept. You entertained me long enough."
Sedra: "Now you can entertain us!"
Hawkeye: "In a flash of light, Sylph morphs into a childlike figure."
Nameless: "Oh god not another lolita."
Sedra: "Nevermind. No lightning boobs."
Miles: "Do NOT roll to grope the elemental."

Sylph: "Wowee! There's some men down in the village! Let's go throw them a party! They're all invited!"
Annos: "She seems a bit more... accepting than the last one."
Hawkeye: "Wind Elementals do tend to be quite flighty."
Sedra: "Or is she just an airhead?"
Everyone: "UGGGHH"

Hawkeye: "As for loot, Lyanna gets some boots of Lightning leaping. Once per day you can charge forward 50 feet, turning into lightning, dealing 6d6 damage."
Sedra: "So Lyanna has enormous pauldrons, and now she can she can shinespark."
Nameless: "UGH."
Hawkeye: "As for her swords, they're called... shock and awe."
*Sedra headdesks and groans loudly*

Hawkeye: "You hear frantic screaming from the village below as you see the air elementals carrying off imperial soldiers, driving the rest out of the village."
John: "Party? PARTY?"

Annos: "Ioth'ir is swimming around in the castle. In the air. One day he swam out of the well and just kept swimming!"

February 9th

Sedra: "Should I get a hammer for Lyanna?"
Hawkeye: "What for?"
Sedra: "What do you think? I just don't know what it'd be. This is the MGE universe, so maybe a Ball-Peen?"
*Everyone groans a few seconds later*

Sedra: "If Jathal makes a potion that increases Lyanna's AC, is that a potion of enlarge boobs?"
*Everyone siiiiiiiighs*

*Everyone is talking about AVGN*
John: "God, we got really sidetracked."
Hawkeye: "We should start the game."
John: "Never underestimate humanity's uncontrollable ability to go on tangents."
Sedra: "Gotta have our hour-long tangent before the game. And we're only 37 minutes in!"

Annos: "Yeah, Lyanna needs a hammer. She's got the juice."
Sedra: "By Juice, do you mean her holy milk?"
Everyone: "..."
Benny: "Don't... say anything. Just don't say anything. Just... no."

Mysterious and totally not ambiguous masked apparition: "Malkoran knows you're here. He's coming with his best men."
Everyone: "Wait, what? Who are you and how di-"
Mysterious and totally not ambiguous masked apparition: *poof*

Hawkeye: "Lyanna, if you fly over the canyon, you can see torches in the distance. They're coming."
Annos: "Can't we just pull a moses and close the canyon behind us?"
Sedra: "...hhhhaaaAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Malkoran: "Alright, Listen up! We know you're down there. You've escaped from prison and have been causing conflict in the land ever since. Surrender now or face redemption!"
Annos: "Iunno, he makes a good point. I'm gonna go make a peace treaty."

Hawkeye: "Around the corner, you can see thewwwhaaat are you doing."
Annos: "Making my diplomacy check of course."
Ioth'ir: "Heyyyy, homies? Wassap? We're just kinda chilling over here. Hey listen, could you maybe just like, chill out and leave us alo-"

Sedra: "Durdona has so much Ki, it's a wonder she hasn't broken out of prison sooner."
John: "She was DEPRESSED."

Benny: "Don't you have this written down on your mythweavers?"
Hawkeye: "Sedra doesn't use mythweavers, so she didn't have to fix anything. All this has done is reaffirm her stubbornness. It happens ONE TIME and we'll never hear the end of it."

Sedra: "As it turns out, touching Lyanna is very easy. Who knew?"
Annos: "I'm gonna try calling a truce."
Hawkeye: "Their Charisma is 10. The DC is 7."
*Annos rolls a 42*
Sedra: "Hey, can I do a Diplomacy thing?"
Hawkeye: "They're currently unfriendly to you. And Ioth'ir already pacified them, what more will you do?"
Sedra: "I'm gonna convince them to give up."
*Sedra rolls a 24*
Everyone: "YES!"
Lyanna: "Do we really have to fight? I'm sure that we both want peace to come out of this all. You don't have to shed our blood for that."
Imperials: "But we're on orders! The Grand Inquisitor is here, he'll kill us if we disobey!"
Lyanna: "It's okaaaay. We can talk to him. I'm sure we can help him come to a reasonable understanding. Just let us talk to him."
*The imperials step aside*
Lyanna: "Thank you. I hope everyone learns something from this experience."

Annos: "Now since I'm 11, I'm the last one to go."
Sedra: "Annos is 11!? I knew it! He sure acts like it."

Platoon 2: "Ehhh, the inquisitor can handle them, right?"
Ioth'ir: "Yeah, you're only hired men. You don't have to fight us if you don't want to."
Platoon 2: "Yeah, sure. Go ahead."

Lyanna: "We talked to them."
Sukudo: "They let us pass."
Malkoran: "..."
*A PISSED Malkoran initiates combat as two whole platoons of Gray Order soldiers sit on the sidelines, questioning their world views*

John: "Sylmera, Enlarge Durdona pls."
Anthony: "I don't have that spell. That's Jathal's specialty."
Sedra: "Sylmera, Enlarge yourself pls. Pour an enlargement potion on your chest. DO IT."
Anthony: "hhhhHAAHAHAH... I wish I could."

Hawkeye: "The Automaton takes a step back, and opens fire on Lyanna."
Hawkeye: "Not only does that miss, the gun backfires and breaks."
Everyone else: "Hahaha, YES."

Malkoran: "There's no other way! Prepare to-"
*Durdona nabs his axe*
Malkoran: "Hey! F-fiend!"
Durdona: *toss*

*The Automaton explodes, and Malkoran crawls out, coughing*
Malkoran: "You... won't... beat m-"
*Suddenly he's suspended by a spell. It's Nerumi, with a foxy Lenora*
Malkoran: "Lenora? What did they-"
Lenora: "Malkoran! You're coming with me. I don't know what's gotten into you."
Lyanna: "Aw, I was kinda hoping to talk him down."
Lenora: "Don't worry. That's my job. I'll make sure he'll never bother you again."
*Nerumi shifts the spell and carries Malkoran away helplessly*

Hawkeye: "Even though you technically don't have eyes, they still take an eye slot."

Sedra: "One more thing. Are the imperials still there?"
Hawkeye: "No way. They saw you beat up their commander, they got out of there."
Annos: "What about that part where they let us pass?"
Hawkeye: "Yeaahhhh they're just gonna leave that out of their report."

February 16th

Durdona: "Whyyy is the inquisitor's wife a Mamano?"
Lyanna: "Look, I can explain."
Durdona: "...So... It's blackmail. Yeahhh....."

Jathal: "So she wanted more spawn? Humanoids are so weird."
Lyanna: "You're a humanoid."
Jathal: "My people are born of the earth itself!"
Lyanna: "You have two arms, two legs, a torso and a head. Sounds pretty humanoid to me."

Sedra: "Is Jathal's God a burning bush?"

Ghost: "Turn back! If you're seeking gold or glory, leave now! There's nothing but death and despair in these gates."
Lyanna: "That hole in the gate... It's still burning. Was this recent?"
Ghost: "These flames have never been quelled. A century ago, the city was raided by Orcs with an accursed war machine. They lost control of it as soon as they pierced the walls and it destroyed everything, including them. Their leader sits in the center of the city, his soul bound to his armor."
Lyanna: "We could..."
Ghost: "You want to give him his judgement? Fine. I'll raise the ward for you. Good luck."

*Everyone looks into a building*
Hawkeye: "Durdona, you see a glint in the corner."
Sedra: "Maybe it's a box full of food."
John: "Wouldn't all food be destroyed?"
Sedra: "Or char-broiled."
*Durdona charges in, grabs a ring*

Hawkeye: "The burning skeleton charges Lyanna. Does it hit?"
Sedra: "Uhh... N-no, even without magic armor it wou- hehehe..."
Hawkeye: "What?"
Sedra: "All attacks bounce off of Lyanna's Amazing Cleavage (AC). That's on her character sheet forever. I'll forget that every week and then look at the sheet and laugh again."

Benny: "We're all blessed, right?"
Hawkeye: "...Lyanna didn't SAY it, so I could be a real asshole and not give it to yo-"
*Lyanna rolls a 19*
Sedra: "It's delicious."

Sedra: "Hey guys, is Lyanna's new nickname the Blessed Breast?"
Nameless: "No."
Hawkeye: "Best Blessed Breast, make it even harder to say."
Annos: "If you do that, I'm opening a tavern called The Horny Dragon."

Benny: "So you're healing her by facepalming her?"
Annos: "Coulda had a V8."
Hawkeye: "HahahahahAHAHAHAH."

John: "Jeez, we're rolling crap today."
Sedra: "Lyanna's food is tasty though."
Hawkeye: "Yeah, at least you won't die on an empty stomach."

Nameless: "Are these skeletons sans?"
Hawkeye: "No, they're on fire."
Sedra: "Welp. I'm goin' to Grillby's."

Nameless: "So we're fighting fiery undead in a ruined city... is this Dark Souls?"

Miles: "Lilac is gonna move in and freeze EVERYTHING"
Sedra: "If Lilac strips down in front of the enemies, is that a flash freeze?"

*Durdona rolls a 20... on ghosts.*
Hawkeye: "Oh, NOW you bring out the 20s, only once you can't crit."
Sedra: "Early on, Sukudo rolled three 20s. A triplecrit instakill... on an elemental."

Hawkeye: "Sneaking into the chapel, you see a group of burning skeleton wielding maces and wearing holy symbols. Seems they're clerics."
Sedra: "It IS Dark Souls!"

*Sukudo tries to sneak into a house... the door falls off its hinges and slams on the floor*

Lyanna: "I don't understand... what could've motivated such destruction?"
Sukudo: "It's the orcish way. Burn anything you don't like."
Lyanna: "That's so sad... There must be something we can do..."

*Hawkeye reveals some of the map*
John: "LAVA! Durdona next to Lava... Amazing chest ahead."
Sedra: "Pffff"

*The party reaches an oddly pristine building... There's an automaton girl inside. She's completely clueless about the rest of the city, but seems transfixed on Durdona.*
Artil: "Oh, are you the new mistress?"

Durdona: "Mistress?"
Artil: "You wear the ring of control! But something feels wrong... Tell me to do something."
Durdona: "Uh... Dance!"
Artil: "...Nothing. It must be damaged. Does that mean I have free will?"
Durdona: "If you can think that you have free will, you have free will."
Artil: "Oh gosh..."

Artil: "Master made me to be his 'special one'!"
Sedra: "Hawkeye, I thought we weren't going to be getting into NSFW territory."

Lyanna: "I know exactly how you feel. How about you come with us? The door is open and the area outside is secure."
Artil: "I'd prefer to stay here until the forge is restored."
Lyanna: "We'll be back."
*Lyanna and Artil hug.*
Kana: "Heyheyyougottatellmeaboutautomatonsalsowhatwasthatwordyoujustsaid"

Sedra: "So Durdona is a giant spider that can breathe fire, and we're in a Dark Souls-ey environment. Someone get her a badass spiked sword."
John: "That's not my specialty..."
Sedra: "Who cares? We're making you into Quelaag, like it or not."

Sedra: "Nerd Duck the Deathbringer."

Hawkeye: "His soul is bound to his armor. The only way to kill him is to toss it into the lava."
John: "Why didn't you say that before? THAT'S MY SPECIALTY!"

*Jathal moves into position, to throw a bottle of Holy Water at the group of undead! This could do massive damage!*

*Lyanna smites the Deathbringer! 35 to hit, even with several forgotten bonuses!*
Hawkeye: "WOW, that hits. Roll damage."
Sedra: "Watch this all be 1s."
*Lyanna's damage roll is 1d12+20+2d6, gets a 33*
Hawkeye: "OH, That REALLY hurts."
Sedra: "Lyanna throws her hammer into the sky, and with a swift flap upwards, she grabs it in mid air, adjusts her wings, and divebombs straight into the orc with a thunderous crash."
Sedra: "EXACTLY!"

John: "Doesn't even come close to hitting me."
Hawkeye: "You catch his axe between your hands."
Sedra: "Would Lyanna catch it between her breasts?"
Hawkeye: "Probably."

Sedra: "I just wanna remind you all that Lyanna's sheet says Amazing Cleavage instead of AC and it's staying that way."

John: "Screw that guy, I'm going for the boss."
*Durdona rolls a 23 on touch AC. And then a 43 to grapple.*
Everyone: "Oh, YES!"
John: "Now, I'm hasted. Can I carry him back to the bridge and throw him into the lava?"
Hawkeye: "Wait! He can still try to break free!"
Durdona: "BYE-BYYYYYEEEEEE!" *toss*
*Everyone is hysterical*

Artil: "Oh, you've succeeded?"
Jathal: "Yes. We threw him into the lava. Immediately."


January 12th

*An imperial warmage bursts through the door, heavily injured.*
*Everyone else pounces over him trying to help, roleplaying loudly over each other*

Benny: "Shouldn't the skeletons have initiative?"
Hawkeye: "Oh, right. ...Their initiative is 0."

Tobi: "Are you saying that coffee is full of black magic? Because if so I'm full of dark energy."
Sedra: "This is why you use creamer, folks..."

Hawkeye: "Okay! ...Ioth'ir is the only one with a bludgeoning weapon. I can just imagine Lyanna going 'Hey, can I borrow this for a bit?' *Shwoomp!*"

Hawkeye: "The Skeletal Archer raises his bow and takes a shot at Lyanna."
Hawkeye: "I believe that ricochets."
Anthony: "Boi-oi-oing."
Sedra: "Wob-wob"

Hawkeye: "Skeleton Soldier takes a swing at Lyanna and... doesn't even graze her."
Nameless: "Bounces off her boobs! Again."

Hawkeye: "You scatter the skeleton all over the field."
Nameless: "Sounds gory."
Tobi: "It's a skeleton."

*Benny drops out of the call*
Benny (In text): "Is the call still up?"
Hawkeye: "The call's still up, be- oh."

Anthony: "I start swinging my arm around and toss a fireball at that skeleton."
Hawkeye: "Alright, here's his incredible reflex save o- well that's actually kinda crap."

Anthony: "Can I draw a little *cough* circle on the board to show where my fireball hits?"
Sedra: "Given that cough I don't think you should be so welcoming of it, Hawkeye. If he draws another circle and a line you might need to step in."

Annos: "The thing in front of me isn't quite dead. I could boop i-"
Sedra: "Or Lyanna could boob it."
Annos: "..."

Anthony: "Sylmera kicks her ball of fire up to the tower, hitting an archer."
Hawkeye: "The skeleton erupts into fire. You are NOT getting that bow back. Don't hunt small game with a rifle."

Hawkeye: "That skeleton is down, it'll take his entire turn to get back up."
Sedra: "I'll hit him while he's down."
Annos: "Quite the lawful good paladin here."

Hawkeye: "You can't hit them with a spear from there! They're on a higher edge!"
Sedra: "That's quitter talk."

*Sukudo looks through the keyhole*
Nameless: "Do I need a stealth check?"
Hawkeye: "No, you're just looking through the keyhole. You should be fine."
Annos: "As long as you don't giggle."

Hawkeye: "If you're wondering why the turn order doesn't carry over between rooms, these are technically different tokens. I copy and pasted them over from the last room."
Sedra: "It's just like SOMA. Are the old tokens still alive? Do they know we exist? Are we real?"
*Everyone starts discussing existential stuff*
Hawkeye: "LET'S NOT GET INTO THIS. We don't want to explode anyone's minds before the battle."
Sedra: "Hehe, I have a character all about tha- oop, mark that one on the bingo board."

*Everyone bursts through the door*
Necromancer: "How the hell did you get in here!?"
Nameless: "That was uncalled for."
Sedra: "Your mother was a Skeleton, and your Father reeked of Zombie flesh! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!"
*Everyone giggles*

Annos: "Lifeline! I never have to cast another heal spell again. Except on myself. Ioth'ir's gonna spend a LOT of time touching himself."

Nameless: "Do we loot now?"
Anthony: "I'll take the gold."
Benny: "I'll take a look at the wine."
Annos: "At-at-at! Ioth'ir gets his pick."

Anthony: "Is it fair to pick their pockets after knocking them out?"
Hawkeye: "They tried to kill you first so you get their stuff by virtue of go screw yourself."

Hawkeye: "The Ghoulstalker charges in and slices Lyanna with its claw. Does that hit?"
Sedra: "Nope."
Benny: "Boing! Right off the boob!"
Sedra: "I am... SO HAPPY that's a running gag now."
Hawkeye: "It's the sort of thing you build up a reputation for."

Ghoulstalker: "You look... DELICIOUSSSSS."
Lyanna: "Hey! You perverted...!"
*Lyanna swings her sword. Critical hit!*
Sedra: "That's the second time in two days my characters have called someone a pervert due to a misunderstanding."
Hawkeye: "That's a DRINKING GAME in Ranma 1/2."

*Lyanna crits the perverted Ghoul again... and again. And hits twice. 36 damage.*
Hawkeye: "Lyanna dices him up in a series of sword slashes and he falls over, letting out a 'Gaak... that was awesome...'"
Sedra: "Are you sure that isn't in response to him seeing something else?"
*Hawkeye snickers*

Hawkeye: "Around the corner, you see a jail cell with an imperial soldier inside."
Lyanna: "Are you alright?"
Soldier: "They tortured me... Wanted to make me one of their minions."
Lyanna: "We were sent here by a friend of yours, who asked for our help."
Soldier: "He's alive? Please, help the others! They're still in the torture room! There was a red-skinned person with them."
Lyanna: "You didn't happen to see a black heart tattoo?"
Soldier: "They never let me get a good look, but one of them had wings, just like yours. Except..."
Lyanna: "Delistra... You get out of here. We'll take care of them."

Hawkeye: "They heard you coming from down the hall. You're wearing armor, too. So that doesn't help with subtlety."
Sedra: "No, it was more likely the bouncing."
*Everyone laughs*

*Lyanna attacks! Rolls a 1...*
Annos: "By rolling a 1."
Benny: "Lyvanna, charge in!"
Sedra: "You just want to see a fusion of them, admit it."
Hawkeye: "Yes."
Benny: "Of course!"
Hawkeye: "But then she'd have average breasts..."
Everyone: "Nope. Nevermind."

Hawkeye: "The bearded devil switches to his claws, as Lyanna is too close to hit with his glaive. Rolling against blindness... he STILL gets it! Blindness does nothing! Anyway, rolling to hit..."
Sedra: "That does nothing."
Benny: "Boi-oing!"
*Sedra giggles*

Benny: "Okay, bomb one! Bomb two!"
Hawkeye: "There's no way he's surviving."
Benny: "Oh, come on! At LEAST do the blindness check!"

Hawkeye: "The devils burn away, going back to hell, leaving only their treasures."
Sedra: "Does that mean they show up naked?"
Hawkeye: "They always walk around naked in hell. They were only wearing chain shirts."
Annos: "Nudes for the nude god."

January 19th

Hawkeye: "Quick little retcon, you hear faint activity down the hall to the right. There's a lady in there, she looks like a spider from the waist down but above that, she has a human body."
*Unfortunately, Tobi/Lavina had to drop out, in favor of John/Durdona!*
Sukudo: "Are you alright, Miss?"
Durdona: "..."

Hawkeye: "It's an old arcane glyph. It looks like the necromancers were using it to-"
Annos: "Bah, whatever."

Benny: "Jathal pulls out a green potion."
Durdona: "What's that?"
Jathal: "It'll make you big!"
Anthony: "Shouldn't we give it to Lyanna?"
Benny: "Lyanna?"
Hawkeye: "Yeah, Lyanna. That nondescript paladin you travel with."

Durdona: "You have wings..."
Lyanna: "Yes?"
Durdona: "Are you an angel?"
Lyanna: "Valkyrie, actually."
Durdona: "Ooooo."
Lyanna: "Oh, I was saving some food for the road. You might wanna try it. It's a bit cold though."
Durdona: "Is it poison? I don't know i-"
Lyanna: "It's blessed, actually!"
Jathal: "Try it, please."
Durdona: "...Stomach... taking over.... can't control..."
*Durdona gobbles it down*

*Lyanna smites the devil! CRITICAL HIT! DOUBLE-CRIT! Lyanna does like 50 damage and instagibs it.*
Durdona: "Impressive..."
Hawkeye: "She wields the holy light. A huge surprise considered what's said about her kind."

Hawkeye: "The confused devil hits the nearest opponent. Lyanna- er, Lavina."
Sedra: "Lavina? What Lavina?"
Hawkeye: "LYANNA, GEEZ. Story rule, don't make a bunch of characters with the same first letter. ...Does that hit?"
Sedra: "I believe not."
Nameless: "Boing."
Sedra: "Hahaha, stop that!"

Hawkeye: "Did you know that a daddy longlegs has incredibly strong venom, but its fangs are too small to pierce human skin, so it can't ever hurt you?"
John: "We talkin' about Daddy longlegs the spider or the-"
Sedra: "BDSM specialist?"
Hawkeye: "That's a discussion for another time."

John: "I'm gonna go over to the wall and shake."
Benny: "Shape? Like a web?"
John: "No, I'm literally shaking right now."
Sedra: *Muffled hysterical laughter*

Hawkeye: "Okay, Sukudo, It's your turn. Roll to break free again."
Nameless: "I'm probably going to need a 20 for thi-"
*Sukudo rolls a 13 and escapes! Then charges over to the devil and instagibs it with a triplecrit!*

Hawkeye: "Battle's over. Now you have a prisoner! Anyone have intimidate?"
Sukudo: "What are you doing here?"
Imp: "Back away, mortal scum!"
Sedra: "I have lots of Diplomacy. We should play good cop, bad cop."

Hawkeye: "Stepping through the door, you see a bunch of demonic torturers, whipping an imperial soldier with barbed chains."
Sedra: "Please don't do this ridiculous stuff! It's disgusting like hell!"

Hawkeye: "Lyanna, give me a fortitude save against the Pain Devil's aura."
Sedra: "26. Her bust is too thick to be damaged. You won't be splitting any wounds, but you will be splitting her cleavage."

Benny: "Right, so he's already blinded. But as I tend to do... I'LL THROW ANOTHER BLINDNESS BOMB IN HIS FACE!"
John: "That's four hits! Boobooboobooboom!"
Sedra: "Boob. Boob. Boob. Boob. Boom."

Imperial: "Please... leave me alone... I can't take it anymore."
*Lyanna heals*
Imperial: "UAAAAAAAAAAHHHHNNOOOOOO- wait, who are you?"
Lyanna: "We're Mamano!"

???: "What was that noise? It came from over here!"
Sedra: "Oh, hey! It's Legion Devils!"
Hawkeye: "Not that kind of Legion, alas."

Hawleye: "One of them broke your sanctuary aura, so that means they all do.... That threatens a crit."
Nameless: "Oh god. HEALER DOWN! HEALER DOWN!"
Hawkeye: "Not confirmed."

Sylmera: "I cast haste on everyone."
Hawleye: "How long's that last?"
Anthony: "7 Rounds."
Sedra: "It would be 14 rounds but the timer is hasted."
Hawkeye & John: "That's a blessing, not a curse."

Durdona: "I think the best thing to do is for me and Lyanna to bodyblock them in the hallway!"
Sedra: "You mean boobyblock."

Hawkeye: "The steel devil points at Sukudo."
Steel devil: "APPROACH."
Sukudo: "Nnnh... yes...."
Nameless: "They want the boobies."

Hawkeye: "Seems you've discovered their plan. They're trying to move the tanks away and the squishies close to them."
Sedra: "What do you mean? Lyanna's squishy too."
Hawkeye: "Oh for the lo-"
Benny: "GgaaahhhhHHHHHHHHHHH"
Nameless: "AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Durdona: "You should surrender."
Hawkeye: "The steel devil flashes an angry glowing glare at you, raises his hand, and disappears."

Benny: "Cast ma-habbleablababagamemea. Bleh."
Hawkeye: "I don't know that spell."

Hawkeye: "You see Inquisitor Nerril in there. He has a strange soulless look in his eyes."
Nameless: "Oh no. They took his mind."
Sedra: "Seeing Lyanna all huge and stuff will probably snap him out of it."

Hawkeye: "This room has a larger ceiling, so you can fly in it."
Sedra: "You did that on purpose..."
Hawkeye: "I do everything on purpose!"

Delistra: "Try getting past THIS!" *Delistra casts a wall of fire!*
*Everyone who can't fly over it just walks through due to the fire resistance buff from earlier*
Delistra: "..."

*Lyanna AIRCHARGESMITES Delistra for a hit roll of 1d20+18 and damage of 1d8+14*
Lyanna: "Let him GO!"
Sedra: "WAIT! Lyanna is huge. That should've been 1d12!"
Hawkeye: "Too late!"
Sedra: "Nooooooooo!"

Sedra: "Nerill must make a will save for every round spent in Lyanna's aura range to stop from getting distracted by obvious reasons."
Hawkeye: "Nahhh, he's okay. Maybe."

Hawkeye: "Delistra's hand glows with red energy as she reaches out and touches Lyanna, draining her lifeforce."

Benny: "I toss two bombs at Delistra!"
Hawkeye: "They both hit! She is DEAFENED! Her spells now have a 30% chance to miscast!"
Sedra: "Dammit, now we can't do in-battle monologues. Not like you were keeping up with that anyway."
Lyanna: "Give up, Delistra!"
Delistra: "WHAT!?"

Lyanna: "I'M ruining everything? What about the lives of the people you've tortured and controlled?"

*Durdona blasts Delistra with webs, taking her down*
Neeril: "Looks like you've met your match, Delistra! Haha!"
Hawkeye: "He runs in to attack. Seems these two don't like each other."

Hawkeye: "Delistra screams in agony as she fades back into the ether."
Sukudo: "What I did to her, I'm gonna do to YOU, next!"
Sharrak: "Ah, her shrill voice was getting on my nerves. We'll meet again."

Nerril: "You... use the holy light. I've seen it when last we fought. Paladins are a rare sight in the empire, so when I saw you wielding it, I knew you couldn't be a demon like they say. I came out here to find you. You don't seem to resent the empire."
Lyanna: "I used to. I sought vengeance on them for what they did to my hometown... but nothing can come of bloodshed. It'd do nothing to show that we're not the evil demons they think we are."
Nerril: "I see... my word alone won't be likely to sway their decisions. And associating with you is a great crime in the city..."

*Hawkeye reads off a bunch of exposition from Delistra's Diary*
Sedra: "So they know Lyanna's presumable weakness..."
John: "Is it bras?"
Sedra: "STOP that John!"

January 26th

Annos: "Ioth'ir supplies Nerill with his room key."
Sedra: "Lyanna supplies Nerill with FOOD."

Durdona: "I don't know how to deal with this. My whole life got turned upside down..."
Sylmera: "I can assure you you look much better like this."
*Durdona gives a cross look*

Anthony: "Tim, can I make a melee touch attack to attempt to fondle her?"
Hawkeye: "What?"
Sedra: "Wait, wha-!?"

*Durdona countergrapples*
Sylmera: "Just trying to help you get accustomed. You'll need to get used to it sooner or later, I just wanted to help it along~"
Durdona: "Wha- GET AWAY FROM ME!"
Anthony: "Do you need an adult?"

Anthony: "That IS how a succubus would try to help."
Sedra: "How has she resisted groping Lyanna this whole time?"

Durdona: "What happened here?"
Sukudo: "This castle used to belong to a great hunter. He made a deal with the Obsidian Heart to become a Lycanthrope to take it from the orcs terrorizing the village. He was taken by them as soon as he was confronted. We've taken it back since then."
Durdona: "Oh..."
Sylmera: "We're also trying to seek out the help of the elementals to defend ourselves."
Durdona: "From what?"
Sukudo: "The order in its current state. They seek to destroy us. They think we're irredeemable monsters."
Durdona: "O-oh, I-I was always told I was doing the right thing, but... I never knew who I was really hurting...."

Durdona: "What's the logic in that? Transforming people against their will isn't going to stop any wars!"
Sylmera: "Nobody becomes a Mamano against their will, sweetie."
Durdona: "....I....DID...."

Sedra: "Lyanna casts Lesser Valkyrie's Aspect on Durdona!"
Hawkeye: "That won't do anything. You already have acid resistance from Jathal and elementals aren't evil."
Sedra: "W-whatever. I'm sure she appreciates being filled with holy power."

*An explosion of rock erupts from the ground as a huge golem stands up*
Nome: "You... Summon....Nome.... SPEAK."
Lilac: "We wish to make a contract with you, to defend these lands!"
Nome: "...Fight."

*Solice sneaks up behind him*
Hawkeye: "Both stealth rolls failed. He gets an attack of opportunity."
*Nome rolls a 25*
Hawkeye: "That hits, now for damage."
*Nome rolls a 37*
Annos: "It's OKAY. I have a 20% chance to be missed."
*Nome rolls a 75*
Annos: "OKAY. I still have a counter for this, uh... I can go incorporeal!"
Hawkeye: "You already did that."
*Solice gets whacked*

Anthony: "Are they immune to stunning?"
Hawkeye: "I believe so."
Anthony: "Dang it, now I can't show him my boobs anymore..."
Sedra: "What."
Hawkeye: "I love how THAT got your attention."

Hawkeye: "The ground is wrestling against you, trying to pull you in. That's a countergrapple or escape artist check to avoid it with a DC of 20."
John: "Good, wrestling is my specialty."
Sedra: "Cool Spider Loves Wrastlin'"

Hawkeye: "Nome shifts a bit, letting out a 'SHRED.' and causes a rain of crystals upon Lilac, Lyanna, and Sylmera."
*Lyanna and Lilac make the save! Sylmera takes 38 damage!*
Sedra: "Lyanna uses her shield as an umbrella!"

Anthony: "Crap, that's all of my HP. I'm dead."
Sedra: "Lyanna uses Lay on Hands! Sylmera's really touchy today. I wonder if she'll repay the favor later."
Anthony: "...HhhhuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH."

*Jathal heals Sylmera!"
Sylmera: "Thanks love. Remind me to properly thank you once this is over."
Jathal: "...Thank?"
*Sylmera winks sexily*

Benny: "The boss hits like a truck. These guys hit like minivans."
Nameless: "Yeah, he's like 20 feet tall and made of rocks."
John: "Well I'm 10 feet tall and made of spiders! ...Wait."

Hawkeye: "Nome finally submits to Maou, as a stone shell forms around him, a cocoon of sorts."
Hawkeye: "Nome bursts from the shell, taking on a more feminine shape. Her skin is dark brown, like mud. And she's very pretty."
Miles: "Do NOT grope the elemental."
Anthony: "I'm not groping the elemental! I'm just patting its arm."
Annos: "Suuuure you are."

Okay, I know I promised to do my next rant on gender issues, but hey, you can't blame me. It's not exactly topical. what IS, however, is the elections. Trump won (By proxy, but that isn't important) and a lot of people aren't very happy about that. There's this huge melodramatic outrage from SJWs everywhere. So sit still, quit your literal shaking, and read up. I'm gonna go over some of these arguments.

"How could you let a racist, xenophobic, transphobic, sexist, mysogynist, homophobic bigot become president?"
You have only yourself to blame for this. These are all rumors. Hoaxes. Created to slander Trump because 'Hah, there's no way he can win, right?'. Instead of fact-checking or applying reason, they listened to a biased viewpoint and perpetuated it. So what if he said something bad about a woman? So what if he wants illegal people to get official papers before moving in? The real bigots are the people forming literal riots in protest to him. And as Shoe0nHead once said: LGBT Americans are still Americans, and Trump loves America.

Yes, he's going to court for rape allegations. ALLEGATIONS. Nothing has been proven. Need I remind you that we're currently living in a society where anyone can make a rape accusation to ruin someone's life? And it works. That's the sad part. Yes, we should be listening to victims, but only if they have proof. Until any of that surfaces, he isn't literally a rapist, he's accused of being one.
Edit: Allegedly the accusations were pulled after they were told they needed evidence. Wow.

"Trump is going to deport all POCs and take away the rights of LGBT people!"
Alright, this one is kinda personal to me. See above how these are rumors bloated beyond belief. It's a result of SJW manipulation. Quotes taken out of context, Distorted and twisted messages... Okay, first: Trump wanting to deport ethnic people? No. He wants to deport people who got into the country illegally. That doesn't make him racist. I have yet to see proof of him being anti-LGBT. And no, Pence isn't proof. Look, even if trump DID want these things. We all know he wouldn't have the power to just push a button and reverse social progress. Even though congress is mostly republican, they still wouldn't allow that to be repealed.

"My minority friends are deeply affected by this! They're scared for their lives and need hugs and reassurance!"
No. Stop. This is what pisses me off the most. I'm a trans woman, and I'm not worried at all. Their paranoia is a result of YOUR fearmongering. 'Don't elect trump! He's anti-LGBT!' you go around saying. But it's okay. He won't get elected, right? The chances of it happening are so low, and even if he does get voted in, there won't be any repercussions, right? That's clearly not what happened. People are afraid because of the manipulation and fearmongering surrounding trump. They're scared they'll lose their rights because YOU told them they would. And now you have the gall to coddle them and treat them like babies. Fuck you.
I'm not saying they don't deserve reassurance. Reversing the damage caused by fearmongering is going to take some social time. They need to know that everything will be okay and their fears are misplaced. What I AM saying though, is that all of this could've been avoided with simple fact-checking and people telling the truth instead of lying to get people on your side.

Okay, that last one was the one I really wanted to talk about. I'm a human. A mature adult (Except two years under that age. Sad, comparatively.). I don't need special treatment. I don't need someone to hug me and tell me they'll take care of me just because I'm trans. If you give people special treatment for having a condition, others, more malicious ones are going to want in on that. It's already happening. Look at Tumblr. (Or any of my other rants for that matter.) Trump isn't the end of the world. He's just a president of a corrupt nation. Hey, let's look at the upsides. He funded his own election, so that means no big corporations can buy him out. He speaks with honesty. (I hope so. At the end of the day he's still a politician.) And most importantly, he's anti-political correctness. That means that the government might finally stop coddling the dumbass "QIA+" side of the title. SJWs might finally see a decrease in prevalency.

I wanna end this rant on a light note. So here's an SJW Outrage Mega Collection+:
Let's just laugh at some dumb leftists to end this off. People are actually saying this is worse than 9/11. What sounds worse? A devastating terrorist attack where hundreds or more lost their lives, with the added effect of loads of property damage and the PATRIOT act, war on terror, sending the government into an extremely controlling state? Or Trump getting elected? If you think it's the latter, shut the fuck up you melodramatic ass. He's not even in office yet.
Other things to note: People unproud to be american or human, loads of hypocricy, projecting... I could go on about this, but there are a few points I want to adress.

"There's still a chance for Hillary! The Electoral College doesn't vote until December!"
Hillary conceded. Next.

"Baby Boomers stole the future from us! Look at this map of what would happen if only Millenials voted!"
Even if they're old people from an older generation, they still have just as much of a right to vote as you do. Being old doesn't rob them of their right to make a decision. They didn't ruin the future for you. You're just overly paranoid. And hey, guess what? Lots of Millenials voted trump too. Some of them saw through the lies and manipulation and took a stand against it. Oh, and before you pull that 'Hillary won the popular vote! We shouldn't be winning states!' argument, keep in mind that that map you also mentioned shows what states would've been won. Hypocrites.

"Anyone who didn't vote for Hillary is a racist/homophobe/sexist/transphobe/nazi/etc.!"
This is what makes me the most sad. These guys have bought in to the idea of trump being Hitler's reincarnation that they're letting that get in the way of reality. Listen. Humans aren't that one-dimensional. Learn who people are. If you've been friends with someone for a while, you should know who they are as a person. Not everyone agrees with everything a candidate says, even if they vote for them. When it comes to your friends' personalities, who do you trust more: The media, or your own experience?

"I'm moving out of the country. I can't survive here with Trump."
Coward. You're letting paranoia control you. You're going to go through the long, arduous process of moving, leaving all your friends, house, job, and all behind... Because you're afraid of some hoaxes about the future president? Please. It's too much trouble. You have nothing to be worried about.

"If you voted 3rd-party, you're priveleged and made Trump win."
Hahahahahahahaha... OH GOD. OHHHHOHOHOHO. Oh boy. Maybe I should stock some alcoholic eggnog for the season.
Okay, you can think that. It's too stupid for me to debunk without bursting into laughter, but just keep in mind that for as many Hillary votes it took, it took just as many Trump votes.

GOOOSH. I got really long winded on this. I could go on for hours about Leftist jargon (And I have, if you ask my friends), but really, we don't have the time for that. In conclusion, I wanna point out that I'm not really an avid trump supporter. Hell, if it was my choice, I wouldn't want a president at all. I just wanted to point and laugh at all the idiocracy and melodrama in the aftermath of the election. Don't worry, this'll blow over, and in 4 years you can elect someone else if you really want to. But the current reaction is totally immature. Trump won, and no amount of rioting will change that.
Okay, okay! I'm done now. Peace.


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Nero-The-Lime Featured By Owner May 3, 2017
No problem, I just... prefer for my watches to be private ^-^;;
TUVGM Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2017
Thx 4 the fav's and watch!
RedeemerofDark Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2017
Hey there
Nero-The-Lime Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2017
Hey, need something?
RedeemerofDark Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2017
No just saying hi
Matthew-Wolfbane Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
So you found me.
Okay, whatever. Happy New Year in advance to ya.
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